Executorship, Grief & Loss

The need for an Executor to assume the responsibilities of his or her role immediately after death places the Executor in a difficult position.  Executors have to obtain the will, take control of the estate and begin planning the funeral, and Executors who are family members or friends must fulfill their role while their own, as well as other family and friends’ grief and loss is sharpest.

Anne_siting-Red-DressThe emotion and differing reactions of everyone affected can place the Executor in difficult situations as everyone moves into the various stages of grief.  The Executor must communicate information that may be troubling for others, organize and manage multiple activities, make decisions, and deal with any and all situations that arise.  The demands of the Executor’s role are frequently in conflict with personal needs in the first days, and often for many weeks after the death of their loved one.

The stress and anxiety associated with an individual’s death can be significantly reduced when the Estate Planner and Executor have worked together to ensure the Executor is well prepared for the role.

Our Planner and Executor Workbooks are designed to support that preparation by creating a forum for the conversations most people hesitate to have about death and dying.

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2 replies
  1. Jean Bota
    Jean Bota says:

    Well said ! From my own personal experience with death; and dealing with the aftermath, the emotions are one aspect which are not considered by society as everything moves forward. Our society makes no exceptions for anyone, and shortly after the death of a loved one, we are asked ” aren’t you over it yet” ” you will be fine” such cruel and callous remarks in a very sensitive time.

    I found the days following to be hectic and emotionally draining as one planned the death celebration and organized personal matters pertaining to our loss. I also found I only lived in the present, never going beyond that, so nothing could or would shatter my “fragile” state of mind. To think about the new roles, labels, and all the new language I found it overwhelming resulting in ” little steps”, nothing more.

  2. Stevie
    Stevie says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience Jean. Reconciling to the loss of a loved one is a difficult journey indeed. I, do believe that folks who are willing to share their stories, as you have here, will help break down the barriers that surround sharing the experience of loss and grieving – which are as you’ve identified, still very much an undiscussable in our society.
    At Exit Savvy we are pleased to offer support for families in hosting conversations where people can break the silence, and have rich and rewarding conversations that support both estate planning and estate management.

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